Conflict!

Conflict is inevitable in any relationships. Between parents and children, husbands and wives, employees and employers, co workers. Where there is a relationship, there is bound to be a conflict. While relationship is about relating, conflict is about contradiction. Let me give you my definition of each:

Relationship - It is a ship where people who relate to one another come together. They come together after looking for those things that are in common.

Conflict - It is an affliction of contradiction where people cause mental or physical pain / stress by looking at those things that are contradictory.

The irony is that conflicts happen in the midst of a relationship. What comes first is the relation and only after a relation is formed there is a conflict. As long as there is no relation, there is no conflict. In other words, people who found things in common starts looking for things that contradict to afflict one another resulting in emotional, if not physical pain. Somewhere along the way in our relating to one another, we allow the devil to bring to our attention those things that are in contradiction. We allow ourselves to focus on these contradictions that as time passes the contradictions start to appear bigger than the commonalities. Slowly, but surely, we start sinking into an emotional roller coaster that ends up with someone jumping off the ship! Neither the one on the ship, nor the one who jumped is better off than the other because it requires both to come together to survive in the vast ocean of life!

The bible teaches us that the devil is the "accuser of the brethren". It does not only mean about the church and fellowship. The devil will also bring accusation against your parents, your wife, your children and your friends. Like i said, conflicts are bound to happen, but a Christian is one who will pick himself up and run again. As a Christian, we are overcomers. This means that things will come in our life that we will have to overcome. As a Christian, you will face temptation for sure, but you need to overcome. You will face persecution for sure, but you need to overcome. You will face conflicts for sure, but you need to overcome.

So how can we overcome conflicts? Here's the beauty. The Bible keeps focussing on one word when it comes to conflicts and relationships - RECONCILIATION. It's a powerful word! It's an word that demands action. Reconciliation is a proactive action.

Conciliate = To draw or bring together, Unite.
Reconcile = To unite AGAIN

To overcome conflict, we need to proactively look AGAIN for commonalities that will make the contradictions insignificant. The root cause of the conflict happened because we stopped looking for the commonalities and focussed on the contradictions. That is why in Matthew 5:23, Jesus says that when we come to offfer worship to God, first reconcile with your brother, even if it is he who has wronged you. If the relationship is not on the same faith level, you might be the only person making the effort to reconcile, but you need to persevere for God will then call you His sons and daughters, cause you to inherit the Kingdom of God and reward you greatly in heaven (Matthew 5:9-12).

Just to recap:

Relationship - The ship on which those with commonalities sail, in the ocean of life.
Conflict - The afflictions that arise due to allowing the contradictions to overshadow the commonalities among each other.
Reconciliation - The effort to conciliate again based on commonalities than crucify based on contradictions.

Lay the foundation of your life with Jesus, build with the bricks of relationships, remove the impurities of contradictions and cement with your commonalities and finally paint your life with love. Then the world will see and praise God for your beauty!

Shalom!